January- New
Year Intentions
I look back on 2005 and just marvel at how
fast the year flew by. At the end of every year I say that I just
can't believe how fast the year has gone by, but this year went by so
fast that many of memories are blurred.
2005 was an exciting year with a roller
coaster of emotions. We were blessed with so many new experiences
and life changing events. Three of the biggest events in my life
was buying our first home. After my injury, I never thought we
would be homeowners because of the enormous medical debt I had
accumulated. God was gracious though and we managed to pull
through. In May our hearts were opened to adopting a child from
China. Again, because of my injury I am unable to bear my
own children. Being a second generation adoptee though, I always
imagined that I would grow my family through adoption. So in July
we began the process of adopting a daughter. You can
read about our process in our
adoption journal.
Then the third event that really changed our lives were the hurricanes
that ripped through the south. Being a part of the recovery
efforts and then coming so close to losing everything that we owned gave
me a whole new outlook on life. You can read about my thoughts
here.
A new year brings a sense of renewal and a
clean slate. Many people, including myself, like to make
resolutions so they can try and improve their lives. However,
resolutions are usually abandoned by late February or early March.
This leads to disappointment and positive changes are rarely made.
I think I have fallen off of
the resolution wagon every time. This year, I decided not to make
resolutions but instead be intentional about following through on good
habits that I am trying to establish.
The dictionary says that intentional means to
be done deliberately. Sometimes when we are trying to build new
habits in our lives it can be quite difficult. It seems like
something else always gets in the way or there is always something that
comes up that prevents us from practicing that new habit. For
example, if you want to exercise more, the first couple of weeks your
new routine is exciting and nothing will keep you from riding that bike
or walking with that new pedometer. Then life suddenly gets in the
way. You end up working an extra shift. You don't feel so
hot. You have more scheduled trainings that you have to attend.
All of a sudden you aren't exercising anymore. It becomes easier
to set our new habit aside and follow our comfortable way of life.
The thing about making new habits is you have
to be intentional about doing them. You have to make
deliberate choices to keep following those habits and it's not always
easy. New, healthy habits are not always easy to form. Otherwise,
everyone would be healthier and happier! So, if you end up working
an extra shift,
you choose to walk an extra 10 minutes the next day or you exercise at
the station if you have the equipment
to do so. Or if you know you have more night trainings scheduled,
you get up a little earlier. There is always a way to stay on
track, you just have to be intentional about staying on course even when
it's tough.
This year, I plan on being more intentional in
several areas of my life. I know that it won't always be an easy
road, but I know that the healthy habits that I am trying to form and/or
maintain will be beneficial to me spiritually, mentally, physically, and
for my family.
February- Courage Under Fire
t's pretty common for firefighters to hear
that they have courage because they are willing to enter into dangerous
situations, risking their lives for others. For those who work
within the emergency medical services, they are seen as brave
individuals because they deal with the wreckage and carnage of humans
who have been badly
injured. Having courage in this line of work is second nature for
most of us. But
what about courage in your personal life? Do you face life's
adversities with courage or do you bend under pressure?
I have been going through a difficult
situation right now and many of my family and friends are giving me
Bible verses to read, offering me words of encouragement, telling me to
pray, and telling me not to worry because God is in control. When
I ready through the verses or think about their encouragement, I still
feel fear about my situation and I want to run and hide. I think
about ways I can get out of doing the things I need to do in order to
resolve my problem. I do some bargaining with God. And at
the end of the day when I sit in the silence, I feel like I am a wimp.
I don't feel brave. I wonder why it's so easy for me to run into a
burning building but it's so hard for me to face this problem..
And then I think, what does it really mean to have courage?
There are many verses in the Bible that say to
be strong and courageous. That's seems easier said than done when
we are looking into the eyes of our personal 'Goliath.' How are we
to have courage to go on with life when a spouse has died? How are
we supposed to have the courage to face and deal with the problems in
our relationships that we tend to brush under the rug? What about
that serious medical diagnosis? How do you
find the courage to go through the treatments that might be painful?
Or what about the dirty jokes or the questionable activities of
co-workers? Do you stand up against them or shy away? All of
these situations require courage in order to resolve the conflict that
is taking place.
Eleanor Roosevelt summed up what it means to
have courage with this quote: You gain strength, courage and
confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in
the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror.
I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing
you think you cannot do.
We must do the thing we think we cannot do.
We must seek God, surround ourselves with family and friends, put into
place a network of support and then take the step...sometimes leap of
faith. We must walk into the darkness of the unknown and pray that
with that first step a little light will begin to shine and light
our way. Sometimes we just have to be afraid and do it anyway.
Sometimes the situation is not as bad as we imagined it to be and other
times it's worse but we hope and pray that the end result will be a
better life. This
life isn't meant to be easy or pain free but at least we know that when
we walk with God and lean on our loved ones, the journey won't be as
lonely.
If you are needing to talk to someone about a
fearful situation in your life, please
email us and a chaplain will be happy to talk with you.
March/April- Having a
Positive Outlook
We all probably know a few people that always
seem to be negative. They are the glass half empty types that seem
to wallow in self pity. Negative people like to bring other people
into their circle of despair. It is pretty interesting to watch
how
negativity can spread like wild fire.
I think emergency workers tend to look at
things in a negative light to begin with. I mean it's only natural
because that's what we deal with on a daily basis. We look at the
bad and try to find a solution to make the situation better.
Sometimes that doesn't always work but at least we give it our best
shot. But I think because we
are constantly dealing with bad situations, those emotions that we feel
at work tend to bleed over in our personal lives as well.
I was at Bible study last Friday night and one
of the individuals talked about his trip to a base camp in Mississippi
that is working on rebuilding homes in a certain town that was
devastated by Katrina. He loved it
so much that he and his wife plan on returning in a couple of weeks.
When his pregnant wife said she was planning on going I
automatically rejected that idea. All I could think of was how bad
that situation could
be for someone who is expecting a baby. What about the mold?
What about maybe exposing her and her
baby to some hazard? All I could think about was the negative.
Of course my friend said it was perfectly safe
for her to be working in the camp itself. She wouldn't be doing
reconstruction. I still was appalled by the idea and grumbling a
little bit when a very good friend sitting next to me said, 'you always
look at the negative, don't you?' Wow that was a wake up call.
I consider myself to be a pretty positive person. Looking back at
the situation I was thinking about this as an emergency medical
technician. I thought about all of the possible exposures she
could be facing out there. I felt like I needed to warn her about
them when in reality, it wasn't my job to do that. Her husband
went down there and knows the details of the camp and what is safe for
his wife. And the biggest thing is, they trust in God to keep them
safe.
Negativity is built on anxiety and anxiety is
built on what MIGHT happen. We really don't know the outcome to
every situation that we deal with. Maybe we have been through
something a hundred times with the same outcome but you never know, that
next time could be the one time the outcome changes. If we try to
think things through completely and bring our anxieties and our negative
thoughts to God, we can start to change the way we think. Positive
versus negative opinions can become a way of life. It should be
our personal goal to always have a positive outlook.
How can we maintain a positive outlook in a
negative world? Surround yourself with people who are happy and
positive. Limit your time with those who have bad attitudes and
always seem to be negative. If you have to be around a negative
person, say a prayer before you meet with them asking God to protect
your attitude. Maintain a devotional schedule where you are
spending time with the Lord. Limit your exposure to negative media
like tv shows, movies, or books. It sounds like an impossible
thing to do but if you tend to be negative instead of positive, you
might need to make some difficult changes in your life.
Life isn't easy but we can live a life where
our outlook is positive.
August- New
Beginnings & New A New LookWe have received a lot of feedback from you on what you are wanting from not
only this website but from Firefighter Ministries as an organization. We
are fast approaching our 10 year anniversary and in order to keep serving you in
the future, we must be willing to make changes and improvements. Thank you
to all of you who took the time to fill out our questionnaire.
In the coming months we will start to focus more
on the injured emergency worker, the original intent of our organization.
We are working on putting together more resources, more networking
opportunities, and more support services.
We will also be turning some of our focus onto
the families of emergency workers. There just isn't enough support and
resources out there in one place for families. So keep your eyes open for
that.
We will still be working in the areas of
emotional and spiritual well-being but we will be upgrading and updating what is
offered in these areas. We will continue to work with and support the
other organizations we have partnered with over the years, including the
Federation of Fire Chaplains. We will be doing a lot of growing and
cultivating and I pray that you will be blessed by this.
One of the ways we decided to kick off our new
goals is by redesigning the website to give it an updated, contemporary, and
user friendly look. The site is heavily under construction and will be in
the future weeks. You will find some of the pages look like the old site
and still contain the old information, but keep coming back because the site
will be changing continuously.
We look forward to continue serving you. We
will still keep our feedback form available to you so that we can know what you
are wanting from Firefighter Ministries. The feedback form is anonymous
and confidential. As always, if you need anything or if you have any
questions please don't hesitate to contact us.
September- Remembering
9/11 on this Fifth Anniversary
9/11/06....I have heard a lot of people say
that they are '9/11'd' out. They are tired
of hearing about 9/11. They are tired of
seeing the pictures and that they are
growing more weary with each passing
anniversary. Why should we acknowledge the
5th anniversary in such a big way? Can't we
move on? Is it healthy for the victims and
for America to be entrenched in those
moments? I have had this conversation with
emergency workers that I know, family
members and friends and I really don't have
an answer. I do have an opinion on it
though.
What's the deal with 5 years
anyway? Why is 5 years more special than 7
years? Why is 10 year anniversaries more
important than 14 year anniversaries? Why
can't some people seem to move on? I mean,
most of the general public and even some us
in the emergency services have buried those
breaking news photos of that day into the
recesses of their minds. If they have moved
on, why can't the others?
Here is my perspective: we don't want to
remember. When we suffer trauma, we try to
block it out. We don't want to relive
horrible things that have happened to us or
else we end up running the risk of
re-traumatizing ourselves.
9/11 didn't just happen to the families of
the victims killed on that day. 9/11
happened to this nation. 9/11 happened to
you and to me. We were all traumatized in
some way. For the families and the
friends though they were traumatized in a
much deeper and different way.
But why can't the families and friends
move on? Why can't they just at least
try to get over it? Many families who
have lost loved ones in other ways have
found a way to move on. I believe that one
factor in particular is a big reason
families and friends of 9/11 victims are
having a difficult time healing. These
families loved ones were viciously and
savagely murdered. And the desecrated
bodies that would help ease their pain if
they could just bury them are either stuck
in a landfill (Fresh Kills landfill...ironic
name huh?) or were pulverized to dust.
There is nothing for these families to bury,
nothing for them to have closure. No
closure means the possibility of hope; but
when deep in your heart you know that there
really is no hope, a struggle begins and the
pain just continues to swirl around in their
hearts and in their heads. Being able to
come to Ground Zero is a way for those
individuals to be closer to their loved ones
(like visiting a cemetery) and for them to
be with others who have been through the
same thing. This anniversary...it's a tough
thing for everyone.
I think for firefighters, we,
unfortunately, have become used to line of
duty deaths that happen when a roof
collapses or when a vehicle accident occurs.
We aren't used to our own being purposely
killed at the hands of another. For
all of us it was a complete shock. For
those part of the FDNY, their feelings are
incomprehensible.
I had the privilege of attending
several events in New York on this
anniversary of 9/11. I can tell you
that people are still hurting deeply.
The pain that they are going through is
agonizing. Yes, some are working their
way through healing and moving on to the
next phase of their lives/careers but there
are still many that continue to need our
support and our prayers. As a
brotherhood, as friends, as spiritual
people, as human beings we must continue to
reach out to those who are still struggling.
Who's to say whether or not it's time to get
over 9/11? That's a personal decision
and opinion. What we can't get over is
our fellow brothers and sisters who are
still grieving. They need to still be
in our thoughts and prayers. They
still need to be encouraged. Whatever
it takes, we are in this together. A
firefighter never leaves another firefighter
behind without a fight.
Blessings,
Wendy Norris
President, Firefighter Ministries
November- Finding
Balance in YOUR Life
Where did October go? Actually where
did most of 2006 go? I think I blinked
in January and somehow ended up in November.
It's been a hectic year with many, many
things going on, not only in my work life
but in my personal life as well. I
have been non-stop busy for months and to
tell you the truth I enjoy the fast pace of
my life. However, I have noticed some
other areas in my life that are starting to
suffer. I am beginning to wonder if my
life is some how out of balance just a
little?
A couple of weeks ago I overheard
a conversation amongst some firefighters.
One of the firefighters was talking about
how him and his wife were thinking about
divorce. He mimicked his wife
complaining about how he was always at the
fire station or out with his firefighter
friends. He couldn't understand why
his wife didn't understand his need and
desire to be at the station and yet he
admitted that he was saddened that his
marriage was on the rocks.
This is a pretty common scenario.
You really don't need to be in the emergency
services to lead a life obsessed with work.
It does seem though that this obsession runs
pretty rampant in the emergency services.
For most of us, we see the brotherhood as
our second family not just as friends.
What ends up happening is we neglect one
family for the other. Finding balance
is the key.
We shouldn't have to give one family up
to have the other. What we must
remember though, is the spouse that you
chose to honor and cherish will not feel
honored or cherished when most holidays,
birthdays, and other special days are spent
with others. The children you love so
much that look up to you as their hero will
feel disappointed or discouraged if you are
always running out on them. It's
crucial that you designate days where your
life completely revolves around them with no
interruptions from the 'firehouse world.'
It's vital that they know how very important
they are to you. Find balance by
saying 'no' or 'not this time.'
What about other parts of your life?
How are your friendships outside of the fire
service? Those friendships help you
stay well-rounded and well-grounded to life.
It's pretty darn easy to surround yourself
with friends that are only in the business.
What about your health? Are you too
busy to take care of your body? Are
you always tired or feeling run down?
What about your spiritual life? Have
you stopped going to church?
I recently came home from an extended
amount of time on the road. I felt
disconnected from some of my closest friends
and my husband joked that he has replaced me
with our cat on my side of the couch.
I realized that I needed some down time to
reconnect with family and friends. I
had to say no to several events that were
coming up and it was really hard for me to
do that. In the end though, I felt
much more fulfilled hanging out at home.
There is a lot to pack into this short
life of ours. It's in our DNA to be
riding on the fire truck, so it's a given
that we will be spending plenty of time
there. But take a good hard look at
your life. Who is missing out on a
relationship with you? What areas of
your life can you say no to and who can you
say more yes's to? How can you find
balance in your home life, fire life,
spiritual life, your health, and in your
friendships? Sometimes we need to
rearrange some things in order to live a
better, fuller, richer life.
December 2006- Get Over it! Life is
Short
As you know, in
this line of work, we see the worst that
life can throw at you. We have dealt with
tragic deaths, horrible situations, and the
saddest of circumstances. We have seen
blood spilled because of a careless mistake
and we have seen a last breath taken because
of something that doesn't make sense. Life
comes at us fast but so does death. That's
why it's so important to make the most of
each day that we are given.
A co-worker at
my husband John's fire station lost his
young wife about a week ago. It hit
everyone suddenly, especially to the man who
just lost his whole world. I am not
directly involved with this particular
situation as far as being a chaplain or
having to respond as an emergency worker but
it has hit John and I because this hit so
close to home. It happened to one of our
own, a brother in the fire service. It
brings our own mortality into the
spotlight. It reminds me once again that
life is too short to be screwing around.
Are you
living the life to the fullest? Are you
pursuing your dreams? Are you taking a
chance to try and better your life? Have
you taken advantage of opportunities that
have come your way? Even with all of the
downers that happen in your life, if you
died today would you be satisfied with the
life you have lived?
I have seen
so many people that take for granted their
health, their loved ones, the things that
they have been given. They are too afraid
to seize an opportunity. They are too
comfortable to step out and experience
something new. They don't want to be
inconvenienced. They don't want to work for
something. Get over it! Stop being
afraid, stop being lazy and start living
life to the fullest! There is so much out
there to be explored. There are your loved
ones who need you and want you to be there.
It's time to put your fear and inconvenience
aside and go to the doctor and get that
problem taken care of or to get your health
in order. It's time to stop being lazy and
get your backside out of your comfort zone.
It's time to deal with a little
inconvenience so that you can experience
something magnificent. It's time to get
over it. It's time to find the courage and
the strength within yourself to be the best
person that you can be. If you don't want
to do it for you, do it for all of the
people in your life that you care about.
More than
anything, don't take for granted those loved
ones in your life. Spend time with them.
Enjoy their company. Do everything you can
with them. Live life with them. I have
come to realize that the people we love can
be taken away suddenly. I have also come to
realize that it could even be our own life
that has been cut short. I have been on the
brink of death, and if you have ever been
there, you realize how precious life really
is.
Life is too
short...take care of your health so that you
can prolong it. Life is too short...pack as
much stuff into it as you can. Life is
short...don't take it for granted, yours or
your loved ones.
9/11 didn't just happen to the families of
the victims killed on that day. 9/11
happened to this nation. 9/11 happened to
you and to me. We were all traumatized in
some way. For the families and the
friends though they were traumatized in a
much deeper and different way.